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There has been a lot in the news lately about Tide PODS. And not much of it has been good. People have called them delicious-looking. Videos circulating on social media show kids biting into them. Or cooking them in frying pans, then chewing them up before spitting the soap from their mouths. The game connected to these things is even called the “Tide pod challenge.”

I have read about these things. My wife has also read about them. But we have never tried Tide PODS. Never had them in our home. So, we thought, why not. We were at the grocery store and picked up a bag of them. It contained 15 pods. “A good start,” we said to each other, almost simultaneously (which was sssooo cute).

Got them home.
Took the bag out.
Took it into the living room.
I was holding it.

“Let’s open it,” I said.

I read the instructions, which noted it had child-secure packaging. I tried to open it…unsuccessfully. My wife was also unsuccessful. So I just took a pair of scissors and cut the top of the package off—child security packaging and all.

We took out a pod. Soft, mushy, colorful. We both held it.

“How many do you think we use?” my wife asked.

“One, I suppose,” I said. “Or two.”

So we both marched into the bedroom, two Tide PODs in our hands, gathered up the laundry, threw it in the washer, threw in the Tide PODs and started them doing their thing.

Now for those of you reading this who might have thought we might, just might, do something other than put these pods in our laundry, I have one thing to say.

We are retired, not ridiculous. Those pods are not cheap.

’Nuf said.

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